Saturday November 3 2024 Uniclue Poems And Super
Saturday, November 3, 2024
Uniclue Poems and Super Short Stories from the NYTXW by Gary Jugert
1. ALASKA PENINSULA ETHOS: I can see Russia from my house.
⁃ The winds were howling, the snow was drifting, the sun hadn't risen in weeks, and from where she sat staring into the murky world from a frozen window pane, she knew they'd still be trying to find her. And they probably would. "I'm gonna make sure they regret it," she mumbled to nobody. "They'll regret it real good."
2. GODDAUGHTER AMMO: Smart alec comments.
⁃ The godfather stood at the christening and thought, "I will make her in my own image. Smart. Funny. And sassy. Fifteen years later, he would come to regret his success as he watched her bully a 15-year-old boy into tears while in line for a slice of pizza.
3. INA RESENTS THE CANOE: Celebrity chef Garten doesn’t want to make Duck a l'Orange in a boat.
⁃ The producers said it would be a fine cooking show in the country. When it turned out to be a competition to produce French culinary classics while sailing in a canoe with a camp stove, every star chef wanted to look at their contracts. One starlet started a fire.
4. ODESSA MOOD CONGRUENCE: When you wear a cowboy hat in New York City.
⁃ Clarence left his room on the 36th floor of the Times Square hotel wearing the cowboy hat ... without irony. Eighteen hours later he returned to the room without the hat. And without pants.
5. CIVIC MINDED ODOR: Aroma d'City Council.
⁃ Socialite and benefactor Mamie Austin, better known as Mrs. Chamber of Commerce to everyone in town sat at her television the week after Thanksgiving. The local news told the story of homelessness, drug wars, murders, and poverty in her city, and then cut to perfume commercials by celebrities doused in waterfalls. And the lightbulb illuminated. She raced to her apothecary. "I need you to mix a new fragrance, a scent unique to our city. We'll have every woman and man in the city smelling of it by Christmas. Aroma d'City Council will create the civic minded odor and civic minded profits to save our city." The apothecary smiled her hideous smile with her missing and yellowed teeth. "Yes Mrs. Austin. Right away."