Projects I'm Trying
to Finish Before I Die
Write to me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Adults ONLY below this line.
You've been warned.
Everything below here is being moved to a new website. It's probably a mess of broken links below.
8 Note Songbook
Tunes with no more than eight notes. Send me suggestions for other tunes to add.
School Girls vs. Aliens!
Altoid’s (not so) Erotic Space Opera for Ukulele
Altoid brings his family to Earth to experience moral ambiguity and things quickly go off the rails. Scheming schoolgirls, jealous wives, the girls from the country club, and too much beer lead to the tragic tale of a vacation gone wrong. The libretto and 50 songs may drive you off to Iota Draconis yourself. The main page for Altoid is HERE.
The Jumping Flea Arpeggiator
Arpeggios for the High G Ukulele
This is the first edition of the Jumping Flea Arpeggiator. It is the single most important book of etudes you can tackle if you're intending to grow from being an intermediate level player to an advanced player on the ukulele. It's free! If you own a ukulele, you should be working on these each day for five minutes.
- Complete Book in PDF format
- All the sound files in a zip file
- For lots more info, go HERE.
I've put in years of work into Christmas-y arrangements including Thanksgiving, Hanukah, religious and non-religious standards. Click for more info on ukulele and guitar. Ho!
Circle of Fifths
Yeah I'm the one who made this. I find it on coffee mugs and clocks these days. It's my second most important contribution to the ukulele world. I keep all my ukulele music theory stuff on the Jolly Roger site HERE.
¿Creepy? Transvestites in Paris Hilton-ville
A post-apocalyptic pet-sitting concerto for toy piano, ukulele and piccolo
Paris Hilton's First Memoir, Transvestites, a Post Apocalyptic Pet Sitting Service, toy piano, ukulele and a piccolo. What could go wrong? Find out HERE.
Denver Guitar Orchestra
Click HERE for details, sheet music and sound files.
Updating the books My Pious Friends and Drunken Companions with modern words.
Flying Spaghetti Monster
My trilogy. It's a three part endless novel. It's a song book. It's a work my wife read and said, "I hate every one of these characters."
Folly and Stoicism
A little Roman philosophy you didn't know you should care about.
The Bloody Rebellion of a Voodoo Zombie Cheerleader and Her Vigilante Ukulele Jazz Orchestra
There is SO much wrong (and by wrong I mean right) with my favorite musical for ukulele orchestra and it's 51-ish songs long. Here's a few.
I bought this thing for $200 at Guitar Center in Eugene, Oregon. I guess I should use it for something. How about THIS.
Ukulele & Baritone Ukulele
Jolly Roger Ukulele is the place to be.
Moved to Pencilopolis.com
Here we go. Stuff I've collected from all over the internet with a highly unscholarly approach. Not sure what's true and what's not. Just a lot of stuff HERE.
My epic poem in dactylic tetrameter that somehow ties all this other malarkey together.
Muddy Waters of the Platte
My Denver musical where the main character is a coffee shop. A paean to the way things used to be and an old man's belief that they should still be that way.
Tunes inspired by New Yorker cartoons.
Piano ... Mostly Toy Piano
I really am a piano player at heart, but my practice habits don't support the notion. Here's my piano page.
Yup, I still think it has potential.
Rocky Mountain Ukulele Orchestra
What's the largest (we're pretty sure) and most important (jury is still out) orchestra in Colorado? The Rocky Mountain Ukulele Orchestra!
When I'm dead, they'll call these my unfinished symphonies. I like them. Nobody else will.
The Tyger: William Blake's Poetry Set to Ukulele
Yup, I wrote a musical about Tiger Woods and his girlfriends. It grew instantly stale as you might imagine. But, half of the songs are William Blake poems set to music. I'm proud of them and they came out sweet.
You ever been around theater people? This is my musical against everything they stand for.
A student of a friend of mine in New York City had a student who drew a funny character on the board. I wrote a song about that and then a whole musical for kids about fantastic creatures.
I've Started Taking Lessons (January 2017)
Daisy Bell for Violin: PDF