Projects I’m Trying
to Finish Before I Die

Write to me:


Adults ONLY below this line.
You’ve been warned.

School Girls vs. Aliens!
Altoid’s (not so) Erotic Space Opera for Ukulele


Altoid brings his family to Earth to experience moral ambiguity and things quickly go off the rails. Scheming schoolgirls, jealous wives, the girls from the country club, and too much beer lead to the tragic tale of a vacation gone wrong. The libretto and 50 songs may drive you off to Iota Draconis yourself. The main page for Altoid is HERE.

The Jumping Flea Arpeggiator
Arpeggios for the High G Ukulele

This is the first edition of the Jumping Flea Arpeggiator. It is the single most important book of etudes you can tackle if you’re intending to grow from being an intermediate level player to an advanced player on the ukulele. It’s free! If you own a ukulele, you should be working on these each day for five minutes.


Tin Pan Alley and Americana never sounded so annoying and loud. (You can play all of these sheets on a regular ukulele and you’ll be much happier — unless you’re weird.) Here’s where I am posting the stuff for the instrument you accidentally learned to play by learning to play the ukulele.








I have a pretty stinking amazing book of Christmas tunes arranged for solo and group ukulele. You should ask me for a copy.

My guitar book is pretty legit too. Some of the sheet music is HERE.

Circle of Fifths


Yeah I’m the one who made this. I find it on coffee mugs and clocks these days. It’s my second most important contribution to the ukulele world.

Need a PDF? Here’s the ukulele chart. Here’s the baritone chart. Here are the key carts.


You have to drop me an email regarding the status of these sheets. Sometimes there in great shape and sometimes they’re something I threw together at the last minute. I have hundreds of songs worth playing.

Here’s a sample:

As Time Goes By,

Transvestites in Paris Hilton-ville

A post-apocalyptic pet-sitting concerto for toy piano, ukulele and piccolo

Paris Hilton’s First Memoir, Transvestites, a Post Apocalyptic Pet Sitting Service, toy piano, ukulele and a piccolo. What could go wrong? Find out HERE.

Denver Guitar Orchestra

You need to join us. We’re building a community-wide guitar orchestra using a multi-level certification program to prepare you for “fingerstyle” chord-melody acoustic guitar. You’ll become a great player for the rest of your life with meaningful solo, small ensemble, and full orchestra guitar skills in your musical toolbox.

This group is designed to give players of all abilities a safe place to play with others without the big personalities you find at most guitar gatherings. And we perform from time to time around town.

Click HERE for details, sheet music and sound files.

Drunken Friends

Updating the books My Pious Friends and Drunken Companions with modern words.

Flying Spaghetti Monster

My trilogy. It’s a three part endless novel. It’s a song book. It’s a work my wife read and said, “I hate every one of these characters.”



A little Roman philosophy you didn’t know you should care about.

The Bloody Rebellion a Voodoo Zombie Cheerleader and Her Vigilante Ukulele Jazz Orchestra


There is SO much wrong (and by wrong I mean right) with my favorite musical for ukulele orchestra and it’s 51-ish songs long. Here’s a few.


I bought this thing for $200 at Guitar Center in Eugene, Oregon. I guess I should use it for something. How about THIS.

Introduction to Ukulele & Intermediate Ukulele

My entire teaching program on one page. It works and it’s free.

Mammoth Gardens

My epic poem that somehow ties all this other malarkey together.

Muddy Waters of the Platte

My Denver musical where the main character is a coffee shop. A paean to the way things used to be and an old man’s belief that they should still be that way.

New Yorker

Tunes inspired by New Yorker cartoons.

Piano … Mostly Toy Piano


I really am a piano player at heart, but my practice habits don’t support the notion. Here’s my piano page.


Yup, I still think it has potential.

Rocky Mountain Ukulele Orchestra

What’s the largest (we’re pretty sure) and most important (jury is still out) orchestra in Colorado? The Rocky Mountain Ukulele Orchestra!

The Sonnets of William Shakespeare and Francesco Petrarca … Melodified
Arranged for Baritone Ukulele


William Shakespeare’s sonnets and Francesco Petrarca forced onto sheet music. Ideally played on a baritone ukulele. You can also play them on a guitar (those two low strings are for people who can’t get along with bass players anyway), tenor banjo tuned Chicago style, or low G ukulele if you’re only reading tablature and not fussing with standard notation.

Go here: The Shakespeare and Petrarch Sonnet Project


When I’m dead, they’ll call these my unfinished symphonies. I like them. Nobody else will.


The Tyger: William Blake’s Poetry Set to Ukulele

Yup, I wrote a musical about Tiger Woods and his girlfriends. It grew instantly stale as you might imagine. But, half of the songs are William Blake poems set to music. I’m proud of them and they came out sweet.


You ever been around theater people? This is my musical against everything they stand for.


A student of a friend of mine in New York City had a student who drew a funny character on the board. I wrote a song about that and then a whole musical for kids about fantastic creatures.


I’ve Started Taking Lessons (January 2017)


Daisy Bell for Violin: PDF